RENAISSANCE OCTOBER 2020

40 Monthly Renaissance October 2020 Reflections Our Poor “Graveside” Manners Dr Sa‘d Bashir Malik I recently attended the burial of a friend’s mother. Along with others, I entered the graveyard feeling sad for him and his family who had lost their mother, but when stepping out of the graveyard after the burial formalities were over, I also had something else to feel sad about. As the actual burial takes 15-20 minutes, I stood in silence at a distance from the grave to allow space to the close family members to participate in the proceedings. With this time slot at my disposal and with little else to do, I must confess I began to look around at the gathering of the people who were also there in attendance. What I observed was certainly not new for me but somehow it seemed more revolting than ever before. I saw men scattered in small groups, spread at a little distance from the burial site and engaged in heated discussions over national politics, totally oblivious to the nature of the occasion they had come to participate in. There were others who were cracking jokes and frequent bouts of laughter could be heard as if they were sitting in a caf é . No less disgusting was the sight of men talking ceaselessly on their mobile phones right next to the burial site. No, it was not an emergency: their discussions involved commercial deals. They surely were great believers in “business as usual” rather than the fear of the Hereafter. And there were, of course, those from the distant family who are always there to act as the self-appointed masters of ceremony. They insist on pointing out the insignificant lapses of the burial procedure and ensure that their voice is heard well over the others’. They will, for example, insist on the precise placement of the concrete slabs, the density of the sand and cement mixture and a lot more, yet all of little consequence.